Great Day For Catching A Catfish
by Arii-hime
Summary: It's a great day for catching a catfish. "See? This, Polka, is a catfish. It does not in any way represent a cat." "But look! It has whiskers!" Random fic. AU


**Disclaimer:** _Stupid Ariisha-chan does not own Gakuen Alice, as she is too stupidly stupid and obsessed with it to do anything but gaze at it in her hands with her mouth hanging open. This, she claims, belongs to Tachibana-sensei, whom she worships and praises dearly. Thank you for listening to her retarded disclaimer, and her stupid self hopes you enjoy the story. Sincerely, Hotaru Imai._

* * *

**_Great Day For Catching A Catfish_**

_"See? This, Polka, is a catfish. It does not in any way represent a cat."_

_"But look! It has whiskers!"_

_---Ariisha-chan---_

* * *

"No."

"Pretty please, Natsume! I really really wanna go today!"

"Didn't I just say 'no' five seconds ago?"

Natsume hated---no, _despised_---fishing. A pointless sport for people with no life. So why Mikan would think he'd want to go now was beyond him.

Why the moron had even come to his doorstep, begging for him to come to the lake with her, instead of asking Hotaru, was beyond him as well. But then again, she might have said no, too, in the meanest possible way.

"But Natsume! I may be able to catch a _you_ today!"

He looked at her darkly. "What did you just say?"

"A _you_! Because, see, I was on the internet and I saw something called..." Her voice lowered to a dramatic whisper. "A catfish."

Natsume narrowed his eyes. There it was again. She had nicknamed him "Black Cat" for no apparent reason, probably to get back at him for all of the nicknames he had for her. And the fact that she claimed that "you look like an evil conniving _cat_ when you narrow your eyes!"

Her voice brought him back to reality. "But I never knew there was a cat that was a fish, so I HAVE to get one!"

"A catfish isn't a cat that's a fish, dummy," Natsume said, starting to close the door in her face. "Why don't you go by yourself?"

Mikan stuck her foot in the doorway. "Today's a great day for catching a catfish, I read. And I need someone strong to help me reel it in! They're really _really_ big!"

"It's called, get a picture."

"Pleasey please please?" Mikan clasped her hands together. "I want a _you_!"

"Stop saying that." He glared at her. "I'm not a fish, for the love of God."

"_Please?_"

He growled.

"_PLEASE?_"

"If I say yes, will you shut your mouth?"

"Yaaay! I'll get the rods!" She giggled and skipped down the porch steps, running down the street to her house.

Sometimes that moronic pig-tailed dippledorf tard amazed him.

* * *

"Ewwww! Ick, ick, ick! I am _so_ not touching that worm! You're insane!"

Natsume rolled his eyes. "You have to, to be able to catch a catfish, dummy. What, are you gonna throw an empty hook out there?"

Mikan balanced her fishing rod in one palm as she stuck her finger in Natsume's face. "Then why don't you do it?"

"_You're_ the one who dragged me here. I can easily get up and leave," he threatened, dropping his rod and standing up.

"..."

"Thought so." He sat back down and threw the can of worms at her. "Now do it."

Mikan's face was slightly green as she picked up one of the worms between her forefinger and thumb and quickly wrapped it around the hook. Then she wiped her hands on her shorts.

"You did it wrong." Natsume smirked at Mikan's scowl. "Who cares, it's your catfish." He turned to the lakefront. "Hurry up and toss your rod into the water before all of the catfish hear you and commit suicide."

Mikan glowered at him but obeyed; thus came the most boring ten minutes of their lives.

"Where did all of them go?" Mikan groaned as she shifted her rod from her right hand to her left hand, and back again. "Where did all of _you_ go, Natsume? You should call to them and tell them to get their stupid selves over here!"

"For the last time, stop calling me a whiskered fish." Natsume shook his head, exasperated. This dippledorf tard was making him regret he even came in the first place.

Suddenly Mikan's eyes became attentive and alert. She froze for a short second before she started exclaiming excitedly, "I got something! I got something! I got something!" and bouncing all over the place while savagely yanking on the rod.

"If you keep on pulling like that, you're going to lose it," Natsume muttered and took the rod out of her hands, reeling in the fish with one vicious yank.

And there sat the said fish.

Natsume dangled the line in front of Mikan. "See? This, Polka, is a catfish. It does not in any way represent a cat."

"But look! It has whiskers!" Mikan pointed.

"Just because it has one part of a cat, doesn't mean it's a cat," Natsume scoffed. "Does this look like a fish with a cat head and fur to you?"

Mikan gasped. "How did you know?" Natsume sneered.

"You're all too predictable, Polka."

* * *

Mikan stared at the catfish through the glass tank sitting on the sidewalk. It had had a rough time getting home, having nearly died on the way and causing Natsume to have to run home and get his old fish tank from when he was little and having him curse under his breath the whole time. Then he had to lug it back filled with water, and you can imagine how he felt after that.

"So this is a _you_, Natsume?"

He didn't even bother to correct her. There was no point.

Mikan's eyes traced every single movement the catfish made. "It's pretty awkward-looking, though."

"I'm surprised it doesn't jump out of the tank and slap you with it's tail, because I know I would."

"Look, just because I accidentally didn't have the right things to take care of it with---"

"Just because you nearly became a _catfish murderer_ doesn't mean you have to make up excuses to cover it."

"Bleeeeeh!" Mikan stuck her tongue out at him and then they both continued to stare at the catfish.

Silence.

"...I'm going to name it after you, Natsume."

"You'd better not."

* * *

_Random fic. Don't shoot me, please, because I had a sudden random inspiration spurt and I had to get it out._

_And I don't hate fishing. I actually like fishing, it's just that in this fic Natsume doesn't. XD Stupid Mikan, thinking a catfish was a fish that was a cat._

_Gawd, I wrote this like super late. Yawn. I am so tired. It's almost one o' clock in the morning and I am about to go to bed. Good NIGHT._

_A review would be greatly appreciated. This sappy sucker moron would greatly appreciate it and she would have such nice dreams. :D_

_Thanks for reading._

_~Ariisha-chan_


End file.
